January 16, 2004

The News, The News, The News

I was under the weather earlier this week with a stomach thing and huddled in bed for a couple of days, feeling like crap. I distracted myself with TV and was one day just flipping through channels during the couple hours when the news pervades all the networks.

I happen to rarely watch TV news, as it often infuriates me. Not the content of it necessarily. But the lack of content.

So, as I find it silly to yell at the TV all the time (after all, that is Laszlo's favorite hobby, and I leave that pasttime to his capable vocal chords), I just simply have given up watching TV news as a general rule. I especially avoid the cable news networks, which I find really awful. I prefer to read the news, and I usually do so via the Internet.

But sick in bed earlier this week, not inclined to get anywhere near my computer, bored and addled, I decided to check in on the news -- just to see what they might be going on about currently. As peeking in on it every now and then usually just confirms my resolve to avoid it....

So. What was the big story every channel was doing? Um ....

Michael Jackson. {click} Michael Jackson. {click} Johnnie Cochran holding a press conference about Michael Jackson. {click} Michael Jackson. {click}

I screamed at the TV. I could not help it.

"That is NOT news!!!!! Fucking hell!"

Okay, granted. I suppose the Michael Jackson arrest (etc.) might deserve a small paragraph tucked away somewhere. But it does not deserve hours, days, weeks of scrutiny and attention and dissection. It just does not. There are a few other things going on in the world that are just possibly a wee bit more significant.

Frazzled, I tried to find a Lifetime for Women horrible movie instead. I can take schlock movies. I can't take schlock news. Didn't like the movie they were running then. So, I kept clicking. As I clicked, noticed one of the local news stations had mercifully finished with their long Jackson Report segment, so I stopped clicking the remote to listen to the the story they were relating right then -- about a new poll that just came out saying that people are shifting away from nightly network news and newspapers for information about the presidential campaign. (Yahoo! News - Poll: Alternative News Gaining Influence).

The anchor had a lilt of disapproval in her voice as she read the report.

This poll also said a significant number of people actually were getting their news from TV satires like "The Daily Show" and "SNL."

Then all the anchors did that thing they do these days and broke into a little repartee between themselves. As they expressed utter disbelief to each other about the poll results, they rolled their eyes at the stupidity of the public viewing audience and just generally gnashed their teeth at how we've all slipped into the abyss of doom and ruin, especially about the part where people were using comedy shows as their main source of real news.

And I, I seethed at the TV: "Yeah, y'all are SO much better. Do you watch yourselves ever?"

Poor news anchors. I'm sure some of them wish they still did news. I'm sure some of them know all too well why people are shifting away from them.

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Now, mind you, I have nothing against frivolous or weird news. In fact, I enjoy some of it very much. I enjoy it much more than the real news. Naturally. But I still want the real news -- as I've got some wacko notion that it's a good thing to stay at least moderately informed on this and that. One of my peasant delusions, no doubt, but I like to think it's important somehow, somewhere anyway.

Not that I'll regurgitate the real serious news here, though, don't worry. I do my bit and keep myself moderately informed, but dissecting or arguing current events as sport is not something I'm inclined to do much myself -- just ain't my forté. Especially online. I'm often happy to see others do it -- if it's good discourse or debate and not just mud wrestling with epithets. Which, ya know, is where it too often goes.

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Anyway, I'm no longer sick and cranky and yelling futilely at the TV. I've even caught up on some of the news the TV didn't tell me about.

AND. I even found a tremendous gem of frivolous news when I popped onto Yahoo to find the link to the poll news story I mentioned.

So. This gem I will share with y'all forthwith -- in case you didn't happen to stumble upon it yourself whilst keeping informed yourself:

Yahoo! News - Starbucks Opens First Shop in Paris.

Oh, dear, oh, dear! A merde grande, that story!!! (Better than EuroDisney! Certainly better than Michael Jackson.)

Ooh la la! Frappez-moi!

{click}