Happy Hallowe'en

From the Old Silly Fluff Dept.

It's always a little amusing and a little scary to poke through some old document files and come across weird old fragments of writing or old random flotsam one had almost -- almost! -- forgotten one had written.

I looked at this old file, a silly thing by the Marquis and I. As I recall, we concocted it during some 3 am online chat, circa 1994, each of us taking turns supplying a line for each of the twelve "gifts."

1994? My god, this thing is 10 years old. Time moveths.

Here it is:

__________________

The Marquis's intro:

Late last night, I had the extreme pleasure to find Mme. Bat online, and due perhaps to sleep deprivation on both sides, we came up with the proposed holiday in celebration of "Gothmas," which is a holiday perhaps best celebrated on July 14th, Bastille Day -- a day when Goth's the world over take to the streets in their tattered Victorian best with severed heads on sticks, roaming from house to house, "Caroling" the following song:
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(sung roughly to the tune of 12 Days of Xmas, but dropped to the key of D-minor [the saddest key] and accompanied by dissonant church bells four miles off, over that windy hill just there -- yah, that one -- with the lone oak.)

THE TWELVE DAYS OF GOTHMAS

On the first day of Gothmas, my ex-love gave to me
Some glue, in a Goth tree.

On the second day of Gothmas, my ex-love gave to me
Two strains of herpes
And some glue, in a Goth tree.

On the third day of Gothmas, my ex-love gave to me
Three parking tickets
Two strains of herpes
And some glue, in a Goth tree.

On the fourth day of Gothmas, my ex-love gave to me
Four mouldy dishes
Three parking tickets
Two strains of herpes
And some glue, in a Goth tree.

On the fifth day of Gothmas, my ex-love gave to me
Fiiiiive Currrrrre Seeee-Deeeeeeeee's
Four mouldy dishes
Three parking tickets
Two strains of herpes
And some glue, in a Goth tree.

On the sixth day of Gothmas, my ex-love gave to me
Six bags of Sun-Chips
Fiiiiive Currrrrre Seeee-Deeeeeeeee's
Four mouldy dishes
Three parking tickets
Two strains of herpes
And some glue, in a Goth tree.

On the seventh day of Gothmas, my ex-love gave to me
Seven Manic Panics
Six bags of Sun-Chips
Fiiiiive Currrrrre Seeee-Deeeeeeeee's
Four mouldy dishes
Three parking tickets
Two strains of herpes
And some glue, in a Goth tree.

On the eighth day of Gothmas, my ex-love gave to me
Eight Goths a-leaping
Seven Manic Panics
Six bags of Sun-Chips
Fiiiiive Currrrrre Seeee-Deeeeeeeee's
Four mouldy dishes
Three parking tickets
Two strains of herpes
And some glue, in a Goth tree.

On the nineth day of Gothmas, my ex-love gave to me
Nine Muni Tokens
Eight Goths a-leaping
Seven Manic Panics
Six bags of Sun-Chips
Fiiiiive Currrrrre Seeee-Deeeeeeeee's
Four mouldy dishes
Three parking tickets
Two strains of herpes
And some glue, in a Goth tree.

On the tenth day of Gothmas, my ex-love gave to me
Ten ripped up fishnets
Nine Muni Tokens
Eight Goths a-leaping
Seven Manic Panics
Six bags of Sun-Chips
Fiiiiive Currrrrre Seeee-Deeeeeeeee's
Four mouldy dishes
Three parking tickets
Two strains of herpes
And some glue, in a Goth tree.

On the eleventh day of Gothmas, my ex-love gave to me
Eleven Goths a-weeping
Ten ripped up fishnets
Nine Muni Tokens
Eight Goths a-leaping
Seven Manic Panics
Six bags of Sun-Chips
Fiiiiive Currrrrre Seeee-Deeeeeeeee's
Four mouldy dishes
Three parking tickets
Two strains of herpes
And some glue, in a Goth tree.

On the twelfth day of Gothmas, my ex-love gave to me
Twelve days to live
Eleven Goths a-weeping
Ten ripped up fishnets
Nine Muni Tokens
Eight Goths a-leaping
Seven Manic Panics
Six bags of Sun-Chips
Fiiiiive Currrrrre Seeee-Deeeeeeeee's
Four mouldy dishes
Three parking tickets
Two strains of herpes
             [big finish!]
And some gluuuuuuuuuuuuue, in a Gohhhhhhhth treeeeeeeeeeee.

(Chromatic dissention, decrescendo, to a dark, hauntingly beautiful fluttering of D-minor in the base keys. The church bell rings a mournful, nonsensical C#. All is lost. Carpe nocturne.)

Mottled Mottoes

I love this sort of junk: Heraldry Mottoes. A site with the translations to scores of traditional old mottoes (mostly Latin or French ones).

Sometimes, I kinda think of 'em as a sort of yesteryear equivalent to a bumpersticker or some proudly hung calendar sprinkled with daily motivational quotes and other "be the best" kinds of affirmations. Virtus in arduis, which the site says means "Courage in difficulties" in Latin, would be just at home on some manager trainee's cubicle wall today as it was on some poor sword-fodder's shield back then, don't you think?

But, truly, my delight in these, my favorites, are the kinda off-the-wall ones. The ones that make ya wonder if a quantity of grog or something might have been involved.

"Motto! We gotta have a motto? They're SOOO stuffy and booring."

"Hey! How 'bout 'Free Grog!' That'll really bunch up the tights on those pious motto types!"

"Nah. That's already taken. Last year. The pious types didn't even blink -- they just quietly tacked on the word 'temperance" to their old virtue, virtue, blah, blah, blah motto."

"Oh, hell, screw this. Just scribble down the first stupid thing that comes to mind on that cocktail napkin. Yes, I said cocktail napkin."

"....?"

"Yes, we did have them in Medieval days. I swear it -- on my family's crest!"

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You know it could be the way it happened.

I'm sure we all know the kinds of things that end up on cocktail napkins.

Perhaps these, for example?

Delectat et ornat
Translated from Latin on the Heraldry site to mean:
It is both pleasing and ornamental (Latin)

or this:

Erectus non elatus
Latin for: Exalted but not elated

YEAH, I like that one. I'm exalted, but not elated most any day! I'd stand under that banner (especially if it rains)!

And I know I know a few people who'd kill for "It is pleasing and ornamental."

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Hey, a little game suggestion/ time-waster idea for the idle and listless. Pick what your motto would be for the day from that site and leave it in comments here.

(I know Melusine will play this one, if no one else! -- It's like the old Latin sayings thing we played with years ago, don't you think, Melusine?)

And now I must bid you adieu with this thought/motto:
Luceo non uro
I shine but do not burn (Latin)

pity ...

'Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving ...

.... and I found yet another quiz to take because I just had to confirm my suspicions that if I were an Edward Gorey book, of course I'd be:

The Curious Sofa - You are quite sensual and love a
good romp in every sense of the word! People
are drawn to you and always want you to sit in
their laps!


Which Edward Gorey Book Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

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Quiz: Biological Molecule

So, I was just sitting around this afternoon, minding my own business when I began to wonder idly just what kind of biological molecule I would be.

I took this handy quiz to find out.

Bad me. Dangerous or wonderful? Yes, please. I choose to be enzymatic.

Enneagram Personality Tests

SimilarMinds.com has a collection of Enneagram Personality Tests as well as the Myers-Briggs and other personality tests.

Also on their site is a page of resources and information about the Enneagram, including some good basic articles on the history of the Enneagram and descriptions of the 9 types.

As far as personality typers go, I've long been intrigued by the Enneagram. When I was first introduced to it several years ago, I was told by others who knew about the types that I was most definitely a 9. Yep, had to agree after learning about the types -- Sloth is my totem.

I've never actually taken a test, though, to determine my type before. But the tests on this site categorized me as a 9 all right. (a 9W1 according to the sub-type breakdown in these tests).

Being a nine means I'm prone to get distracted by all my other unfinished projects (or just some shiny object) and -- wouldn't ya know it? I suddenly am.

As ya know, it's time for my nap.

With My Jeweled Meat Hammer

Saw this fun thing on Melusine's (Hespeth's) LiveJournal and just had to find out what my battle cry was. Heh.

Jeweled Meat Hammer indeed.

Quiz: What Monty Python Character Are You?

I am a Bruce ("I drink, therefore I am ....") according to this quiz (the link to which I found on Out of Lascaux):

I don't mind at all being deemed a Bruce, but to tell the truth, I think I am actually more likely the exploding penguin on the telly.

The Best Thing We've Seen All Day

The Petting Zoo's Stick Figure Hardcore Porn Page!

The Tantric Sex and Catholic Schoolgirl ones made me laugh so hard, I almost fell off my chair.

Oh Dear Drag Gods

Yow! I won first place in the philosophical drag queen naming contest on EveTushnet.com -- for contributing the existentialist drag queen name of Miss So There.

Well, knock me over with a feather boa!

Dead Dinner Party

The following was something I posted in the Suffering is Hip forum last year on Thanksgiving. So, I thought why not pretend it's tradition and post it here this Thanksgiving.

My one steadfast (and arguably irrational) belief in an afterlife has always been that I get to have a welcome-to-death dinner party.

So, just to amuse myself one day a couple of years ago, I played a game where I tried not to think about it, but quickly jotted down the names of a table's worth of dead people I would most want at my "inaugural" after-death dinner party.

I then decided to ask other people who they wanted at their dinner party and emailed a bunch of friends. We circulated the "game" and the subsequent lists via a couple of different email lists and also Melusine then posted it to an old board she was active on a year and a half ago and got some great responses.

Below are a few examples of people's lists. I'm not including my own list because I've probably revised it a thousand times in my head since and somehow I was always much more amused by other people's lists and their occasional explanations for certain choices.

So, here, as examples, are just a few of the old responses from the spring of 2000:

The old list from Melusine:

• Mae West
• Oscar Wilde
• Divine
• Caligula (he'd be sitting next to Ed Gein)
• Tennessee Williams
• Grace Kelly
• Sammi Davis Jr. (I actually wanted the entire Rat Pack but then the dinner would degenerate into a booze-soaked roast!)
• Carl Jung
• Dorothy Parker
• Ed Gein (he made furniture out of womens body parts for hell's sake. I have questions.)
• Jackie Susann

Now the seating arrangements are another dilemma entirely but I absolutely certain I'd want to be sitting between Oscar Wilde and Mae West with Dorothy Parker in close proximity.

Anna's old list. (Anna's an artist , in case you can't guess from her Dead Dinner Party guest list. Her paintings are fabulous, if I may add.).

Anyway. Anna's list especially amused me because she included a menu with it:

Seared foie gras with balsamic reduction, carmalized onions and micro greens
and squab in puff pastry shells with fig sauce...fine wines assumed along
with additional courses...ps chocolate souffle too.

• Francis Bacon (both of 'em)
• Gustave Moreau
• Reiner Klimke
• Gurdjieff
• Mother Teresa
• Gustav Klimt
• Frank Lloyd Wright
• Simone de Beauvoir
• Foucault
• Ruth Gordon

Laszlo's old list:

• Louise Brooks
• Joan of Arc
• Cleopatra
• Benjamin Franklin
• Leonardo DaVinci
• Albert Einstein
• Carl Sagan (but only if he brings a 2-liter of strawberry soda and some party hats)
• Socrates (we'll make it a toga party)
• John Belushi (...we'll make it a toga party!)

So? Who would YOU want at your Dead Dinner Party?

Tests & Fetes

Mentioned I was half-mad a few entries ago. Guess I should amend my statement. I'm moderately mad. Or, rather, moderately disordered.

At least according to this:

Personality Disorder Test

I'm moderately schizotypal, obsessive-compulsive, borderline, and avoidant.

According to this test, I am this:

What revolution are You?
Made by altern_active

Je ne suis pas! Je proteste! Comment est-ce que je puis être la Révolution Française quand je préfère énormément Voltaire á Rousseau??


I just looked up what today would be in the French Republican (Revolutionary) calendar converter (there's a spiffy Mac version of it here). And it happens today to be a Fête day, no less. La Fête du Travail (3ème comp.), An CCX.

Festival of Work. (Labour Day).

Actually, looking at the calendar, it seems we're in a Revolutionary Calendar Fête week right now .....

Tomorrow's Opinion Festival Day apparently. La Fête de l'Opinion (4ème comp.), An CCX.

Maybe tomorrow if I'm being more moderately Obsessive-Compulsive than moderately Avoidant, I'll opine on something ......

Or maybe I won't.

"Opinion has caused more trouble on this little earth than plagues or earthquakes."
--Voltaire

The Chicken Glass

The Chicken Glass. Found 3 of these at Goodwill for 99 cents each. It was a goodly day.